Tuesday Pirates Rant™ -- Happy Happy Edition

So I went to Wrigley last Friday and saw rookie Tom Gorzelanny pitch 8 shutout innings to lead the Pirates to a 6-0 victory over the Cubs...pushing their all-time record to 4-1 when I'm in attendance. Think about that...the sample size is ridiculously small, but the odds of them winning four out of any five games can't be very large.

But anyway, it gave me an idea for today's Rant™. Coming off of the Rant™ to end all Rants™, not to mention probably the pissiest post I've ever written on GN, I decided that I should try as hard as I can to write something nothing but positive for today. Never mind that they've lost the two games since then (and they're down to the Astros as I write this), and never mind that the Yankees' GM said this week that he likely would have cut Shawn Chacon if he couldn't trade him...but then he found a GM dumb enough to not only take pay for the rest of his salary for the year, but also give him Craig Wilson in return. Nope. Today's Rant™ is all about positive vibes.

So I'm thinking...what can I write about that would be nice and positive? I obviously don't think that the Pirates will suddenly be playoff contenders in 2007, and I obviously think their minor league system is pathetic and barren thanks to the work of a GM whose name is best left untyped. How about this: let's fast forward 12 months. Instead of 42-70 (best 42-70 team in the league!!), they're 70-42 and in first place in the division. In other words, they pulled a 1991 Braves and went from worst to first. How did this happen?

(See what I did there? I didn't say "They'll be good next year," I just said "If they're good, here's why." Genius, if you ask me. And I'm going to try as hard as I can to be realistic about this. In other words, no "They signed Barry Zito and traded for A-Rod.")

1. Starting Pitching. In August 2006, the Pirates' rotation consists of 4 guys 24 and younger. All four have experienced the extreme ups and downs that young pitchers often experience. Hell, at Zach Duke's age, Tom Glavine was coming off of a 7-17 season. At Tom Gorzelanny's age, Glavine was 10-12 with a 4.28 ERA. Hell, Randy Johnson was a year older than Ian Snell when he got traded by the Expos while in possession of an 0-4 record and 6.67 ERA. In other words, pitchers grow. And the 2006 adversity could lead to some thriving in the near future. Snell, Duke, Gorzelanny, Paul Maholm, and Random #5 Starter (and no matter how much I hate it, chances are that #5 will be Shawn Chacon) could make for a pretty mean rotation in the near future.

2. Relief Pitching. A strength this year, the main cogs (Mike Gonzalez, 28 in 2007, and Matt Capps, 23) are young, have great stuff (Capps has walked 6 batters in 59 innings) and under contract for the near future. Add to that the likes of Josh Sharpless (who pitched a scoreless 9th on Friday), Jonah Bayliss (filthy stuff...even though he doesn't always know where it's going), and the old veteran, Saloman Torres (much less filthy stuff...though fortunately he doesn't know where it's going either), John Grabow (a lefty who's improved annually), and Random Veteran Lefty Reliever, and that's a pretty stout pitching corps, from ace to closer. Pitching wins championships, you know. Just ask the 2003 Marlins.

3. Experience Behind the Plate. Catcher Ronny Paulino started the year in AAA, likely wondering how he was ever going to break into the Pirates' lineup. In every level of the organization, he's been behind Ryan Doumit. Well...Doumit has had significant hamstring problems this year, opening the door for Paulino. Paulino's done well enough that when Doumit returns, he'll likely be tried out as a 1st-baseman or right-fielder. Never mind the fact that, as of this moment, he's batting .316 and hit three HR's in Wrigley over the weekend. No, next year the biggest contribution he will make is the fact that he'll have caught all these young pitchers for over a year. Plus, he's already gone from "defensive liability" in May to "stalwart" in July. Having a strong leader behind the plate makes a huge difference. Just ask the 2003 Marlins.

4. Actual Continuity. There is always the possibility that even an inept GM like Da...oops, almost mentioned his name. There is always the possibility that even the most inept GM could make some interesting trades in the offseason. Shortstop Jack Wilson will likely come up in trade talks, especially since Freddy "Little Ichiro" Sanchez (that's the nickname my buddy gave him Friday) is more than capable of holding down shortstop instead of 3B. Xavier "Little Craig Wilson" Nady could also be on the block...who knows. But if those trades fall through, then the Pirates are already possibly set at all 7 positions in the infield and outfield. Unlike previous years, when Dave Lit...um, the Pirates GM signed far-far-over-the-hill-and-too-expensive veterans to block younger players from getting experience, surely he can't make that mistake again, right? Ri...right?

Anyway, a lineup of Nady (1B), Jose Castillo (2B), Wilson (SS), Sanchez (3B), Jose Bautista (RF, .801 OPS as a rookie), Chris Duffy (CF), and Jason Bay (LF) could be pretty tough...especially if the manager (I can dream that maybe it won't be Jim Tracy) actually does the smart thing and bats Duffy at 8th instead of lead-off. As he proved on Friday, Duffy's range in centerfield is pretty much second-to-none. He gets to balls nobody this side of Andruw Jones can...and even Andruw's kinda packed on the pounds in recent years, so his range isn't what it used to be. Never mind that Duffy can't hit...he can still make a rock-solid contribution as long as others (Bay, Bautista, Paulino, Nady) pick up the slack with the bat.

Then again, Duffy's the one who was disappointed to be called up last week because he was hoping to be traded, so who knows if he's even around in '07.

5. Actual Good Luck. Yeah, I needed a fifth reason to make it an official Top 5. But hey, the first four were pretty good, right? You didn't think I could do it, did you?

Until next week, when this momentary optimism will be pounded back into submission by the overwhelming bullying abilities of reality...