Tom Hanks in “Gone with the WMDs”

(IP)—Tom Hanks announced today that, following his project to put Vincent Bugliosi’s recent regurgitation of cherry-picked “facts” and carefully selected witnesses first belched by the Warren Commission on HBO, he will now turn to another well-known case of the solemn and honest government reporting with absolutely no bodies in the closet or axes to grind, the finding of Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. “I’m looking forward to it,” said Hanks, who has Ph.D.s in history, politics, criminal justice, and organizational behavior, “because the American people are just dumb not to believe what our higher authorities in Washington, D.C. sell us in covering their own asses and getting things done the public would never accept. How can people in this day and age not believe the U.S. government, which has been acting the same way for over 50 years now? I just hope I don’t have to do this again with our well-documented case against Iran.”