TUESDAY PIRATES RANT™!! Offseason Rant #1

...here's your first official Rant™ of the offseason. No, it's not Tuesday, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. We'll make it quick.

Okay...going into the offseason, universally-mocked Pirates GM Dave Littlefield said he had a few offseason priorities, but there was one in particular that stood out: acquiring a young, left-handed, power-hitting 1B or RF who doesn't strike out much. Should be easy, right? I mean, young, left-handed, power-hitting 1B/RF's who don't strike out pretty much grow on trees, right?

Well...there really were none on the free agent market (which works well since the Pirates can't afford ANYBODY on the free agent market this year...seriously, Gary Matthews Jr. gets a 5-yr, $50million deal? Man...I think I could have gotten a multi-year deal this offseason. But I digress), so he said he'd be aggressively pursuing one in a trade. Awesome. We know all about his phenomenal record in trades.

Then later in the offseason, he mentioned that he refused to give up any of his young starting pitchers (Zach Duke, Ian Snell, Tom Gorzelanny, Paul Maholm) in a trade. Or one of his top relievers (Salomon Torres, Mike Gonzalez). Or even Chris Duffy (the CF who quit on the Pirates for a month in the middle of the season and spent another half of the season batting about .180). No, apparently he expected to obtain a young, left-handed, power-hitting 1B/RF who doesn't strike out much for overweight 2B Jose Castillo. But I ignored that. See, the offseason is about optimism, right? Right? I was giving him every opportunity to go out and make a quality trade, and I was going out of my way to not be cynical about any of the moves made (or not made) this offseason. Sign a 25-year old Cuban defector? Great! Who cares if he's not any good...they're being proactive! Thinking about offering Jeff Suppan $10 million/year? Well...that's fine, I guess. Everybody's upping payroll, right? Wait till the December Owners meetings to make any trades? Fine with me! I believe (sort of)! I'm like a battered spouse, and I admit it...

So the meetings are upon us...

...and the Braves offer up 1B Adam LaRoche for Mike Gonzalez. Sweet! Gonzalez is a good (potentially very good) closer, but he's injury prone, he's inching toward 30, and let's be honest...you can't really worry about having a good closer until you have guys that can get the closer a lead, right?

Well, Adam LaRoche is a 1B (check!), he's 27...relatively young (check!), he's left-handed (check!), and in his 2nd full season in the majors, he hit .285 with 32 HR's (CHECK!) while only striking out 128 times...which is a decent amount, but not bad for 32 HR's (Jason Bay hit 35 HR's with 156 K's). He would pretty much automatically be the third-best hitter in the lineup behind Bay and Freddy Sanchez and the second-best power hitter behind Bay. Okay, he'd just be the second power hitter, period.

So this pretty much sounds like a fine deal. You hate giving up Gonzalez, but you have Salomon Torres, and you did nothing but trade for like 17 relief pitchers at the trading deadline last year. LaRoche isn't a future Hall of Famer, but he's EXACTLY what Littlefield was looking for. All the Braves ask is that they get some further verification that Gonzalez is in good health (he missed the last month of the season with tendonitis).

So Littlefield drags his feet a bit. And then he dangles Torres and Jose Castillo instead. And then he drags his feet some more.

And then the Braves give up on Littlefield, call the deal dead, and go looking for other suitors.

On July 31, 2007, Littlefield will trade Gonzalez to a contender for a 29-year old A-ball reliever.

Did I mention that the Pirates are heavily pursuing Trot Nixon right now? Trot "I played in 48 games in '04 because of injury, 124 in '05 because of injury, and 114 in '06 because of injury, my slugging % was down to .394 last season (12 points better than Jose Castillo's!) and I'll be turning 33 around Opening Day" Nixon? Just shoot me. And for God's sakes...FREAKING FIRE DAVE LITTLEFIELD. THE OFFSEASON IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TIME FOR OPTIMISM, DAMMIT. AND LOOK AT ME. I'M YELLING.










Please please please, Dave...prove me wrong. There's still a day left in the owners meetings. Do something. Anything. YOU WERE HANDED A DEAL THAT PRECISELY MET YOUR NEEDS, AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS GIVE UP A RELIEF PITCHER. RELIEF PITCHING IS THE ONLY THING IN YOUR ORGANIZATION WITH DEPTH. YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO UN-BLOW THIS. DO NOT DO THIS TO ME AGAIN.

I'm sorry, Dave...I can't do this without yelling. I should just stop talking.

UPDATE, 6:08am: This Beaver County Times article suggests that a) the Braves might have pulled a bait-and-switch on Littlefield ("I want Gonzalez-for-Littlefield...I'm sorry, did I say Gonzalez? I meant Paul Maholm.") once it started looking like they were obtaining a different reliever in another trade, and b) not only are the Pirates possibly pursuing Trot Nixon, but they're also pursuing...

...Jose Hernandez. AGAIN. MY GOD.