Thursday, May 18, 2006

Roy talks to God

In light of silly conversations on rightwing blogs, Roy shares some of the list of his "bill of particulars"...

I am compiling a bill of particulars to send Him. The list is very long and not nearly finished, but I will share some of my complaints with you now.
    • Negative side-effects to all the best things in life, e.g. money (inflated self-worth, false friends), sex (diseases, marriage), food (a large and ever-changing array of attributable health conditions). While we’re at it, thorns on roses and blow-cards in magazines.
    • Evolution. Contentious, messy way of going about things. Will take forever to figure out, thanks to that stupid Adam & Eve red herring. I suppose You thought it was funny.
    • Uncertainty. For example, I can’t tell if You’re even going to get this. Or whether it will please or displease You. Or how You will react if it displeases You. Or if you’re a retarded child like on "St. Elsewhere." If You’d let me know I could have dumbed this down, or commissioned an illustrator.

I'll let you know if I hear anything.
I'd like to add one.

Knowing Your Maker Has a Twisted Sense of Humor. See: duck-billed platypus, Limp Bizkit selling millions of records, my choice in sports teams.